Melting Pot vs. Fruit Salad

Hello all.  I'm Ryan, Yunuen's "pale as can be" hubby.  I'm excited to be a part of this blog, to connect with other interracial couples and share what makes us tick.  I'll be writing entries now and then to give you my take on things.  Hopefully we'll start hearing back from you!  If there's anything you'd like to share, feel free to leave comments.  (All in good taste, of course.)

And now, ladies and gents, without further adieu, Ryan's first blog post.  (TA-DAAAAA!)

"Melting Pot" was a term I used to hear as a kid when people wanted to describe the diversity in the United States.  It was explained to me like this: "The United States is formed by a mixture of cultures, like ingredients in a pot.  They all melt together to form their own distinct culture/society/community/(insert group here)."  As a child I was pretty content with that description.  "Cool, so we're all mixed together like melted cheese.  Got it."

As I've grown and had the opportunity to befriend people from myriad countries and backgrounds, to experience and see the beauty in their beliefs and cultures, I no longer think of this country as a melting pot.  When something melts it loses its physical characteristics--it loses what makes it distinct and individual.  Ever left a chocolate bunny out in the sun?  It's not as fun to eat a chocolate puddle, is it?  People--individuals--are a composite of their life experiences, their culture.  Also, when you melt two things together, they do, of course, mix together, but it is impossible to distinguish one melted object from another because they've essentially become one shapeless mass of melted slop--think a melted chocolate bunny that was filled with caramel.  (Mmmmmmmmm, caramel.)

Not the way I want to describe my country or my marriage.

Instead, let's take the example of a fruit salad.  (I can't remember who introduced me to this idea, but I'm thankful for it.)  Fruit is yummy.  Salads are too.  (Ok, that's a little bit of a stretch.)  Put them together, and what do you get?  A healthy alternative to the goo in your melting pot.  A fruit salad celebrates flavors.  You get the acidity of the pineapple, the pop of the grapes, the tartness of the raspberries and strawberries, the oh-so-recognizable flavor of bananas, and if you're lucky you'll score a bit of mango or kiwi.  You can eat the fruits separately, but many times when they are paired together one flavor stretches its hand out to the other and they salsa dance on your tongue, sashay past your palate and do the running man down to your satisfied stomach.  What I'm trying to say is the fruit salad takes things that are already good, pairs them together, and turns them into something great.

That is how I view diversity . . . and it's how I view my marriage to Yunuen.  Take two fruits grown in different countries--one completely gorgeous and flavorful (Yunuen), one a little nutty and over-ripe (me)--put them together and BAH-DA-BING!  You've got something truly special.  Learning about Yunuen's culture, embracing it and making it a part of myself, has without a doubt made me a better person.  I'd like to think the same has happened to her.  There are definite differences in the way we think, view life, even eat.  Some differences have been a little more challenging to overcome, while others have connected us deeply in ways that are hard to explain.  All of those things, however, are what make our relationship, our marriage, special.  They are what define us as a couple and create the "spice" that makes our marriage kick.

I love it.  And I love her . . . with all my heart.

Thanks for reading.  Feel free to write and tell us about your own fruit salad.